Server load problem....is mysql?

[kurgans]

You can mount Monit to monitor your server and set conditions for the service is restarted if the workload is very high


http://www.howtoforge.com/server_monitor...an_etch_p2

It is a small example.

if cpu is greater than 10% for 2 cycles then alert
if cpu > 15% for 5 cycles then restart
if totalmem > 500 MB for 5 cycles then restart
if children > 250 then restart

http://www.howtoforge.com/server_monitor...ebian_etch

You can make a cron to restart the services